How Do You Love????

With Valentine's Day right around the corner, the displays and ads are in full swing. Every kiss begins with "k" and Dove hopes love is in a box of chocolates! 
With all that society/culture does to help us express love, I truly feel like it all misses the mark.
There are 4 major types of love and 5 Love Languages (we'll talk about next time) and I seriously doubt any of that can be summed in anything from Kay or over a candlelight dinner!
In being our best authentic selves (and allowing others to be the same) let's move past the commercial and get back to the compassion of love expressing!
Let's be willing to tell the significant people in our lives how we truly feel...without regard if they reciprocate! You see, that's the BEST part of love...actually experiencing it! Somebody said: "It's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all" (put it in the comments if you know where this came from).  When you express your love (any type) towards someone else, it frees your soul; it makes you wanna sing...lol!
I'm not only taking about romantic (eros) love...I'm talking about all kinds to all people (agape)! When you whisper it to your sleeping child (storax), or say it to your best girlfriend at the end of the phone call (philia)...no matter to whom it's expressed, it benefits the giver just as much, if not more, than the receiver!

I challenge you this Valentine's Day (and after) to express love in all ways! Don't allow society to dictate to you how it should be given and definitely not how it's received! Remember, we all express love differently so if you don't receive diamond earrings or a night on the town, that does not mean your significant doesn't love you! 
If you're single at this moment, show love to the people who truly matter in your life. Valentine's Day can even be a pre-mother's/father's day! If you have children, don't leave them out of the love fest! Do something sweet with or for them...or better yet, do something together for someone else! We usually reserve serving during the "holiday" season but what better way to teach them about limitless expressions of love than to offer charity to someone who can't repay you?
For my married couples...make this a season to serve each other! Put aside your selfish desires and serve (wait on, assist, attend to) your mate! Put aside the petty differences and not only express your love but be willing to receive the expression of love they give (remember, they may speak a different love language). 
Just so you know...I'll spend the day doing my usual. I'll buy red, heart-shaped balloons for my kids and hubby! I'll write personal messages and song lyrics on them and tie them to their beds, so they can dream sweet dreams :) We'll have a nice family dinner with everyone's favorites (mostly mine) and it'll be a quiet and fun evening! I'll send out messages of love to my friends, parents and siblings. I have some other things planned but I can't tell here (surprises)! No matter, it's my goal to express every type of love this Valentine's season...all week long! 
Will you join me? Will you get away from the commercialized view of this day and get back to the compassion? Ladies, will you not only look to be served but also be willing to give a little bit of yourself?
I hope you all have a BLESSED and LOVELY Valentine's Day! Next week, we'll talk about the 5 Love Languages...i hope it'll help us understand each other better!

Don't Put Up With That!

*** WARNING: Today's topic goes against popular societal perspectives and may cause passionate discussion and mental shifts! Reader discretion is advised! ***

One of the most popular words in pop culture is slowly destroying us as humans...ONE WORD! It destroys from within and is often used as a weapon of mass manipulation to undermine our convictions! If you shift from this popular belief, it will change EVERY relationship in your life. In theory, it seems ok but in practice it's so serious! Take it in...read each definition and understand how this actually plays out in your life. 
Tolerance: 1 : willingness to accept feelings, habits, or beliefs that are different from your own. 2 : the ability to accept, experience, or survive something harmful or unpleasant. 3 medical : your body's ability to become adjusted to something (such as a drug) so that its effects are experienced less strongly

Why should you be willing to accept what you don't believe in? If you believe in monogamy, why would you stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't? What type of life are you truly living when you become "adjusted" or numb to things that are not in alignment with who you are or the life you want to live?
From the perspective of yourself, it's a way for others to shut you up while they are free to act in any manner; it's such a condescending form of manipulation. No one should ever want to be tolerated and you shouldn't be the type of person people have to put up with! 
From the perspective of others, it allows us to hold hate and resentment in your hearts while mustering a fake, half smile. Though the effects may not be experienced as strong over time, one day, that penned up negativity could erupt and then everyone will be so shocked! No relationship can flourish under the umbrella of tolerance...it usually leads to resentment and indifference, which is actually worse than hate! Not sure what I mean, you know the feeling you get when that drunk uncle in your family shows up??? Yup...that's it! Tolerance at it's finest...you don't even like him.

Here's the pivot we should make to be better to ourselves and others: 1. Respect (not accept) differences. Respect means to "feel or understand that someone and something is important, serious, etc,. and should be treated in an appropriate way". Respect the choices made by others and respect yourself enough to create the necessary boundaries. 2. Love Thy Neighbor! Love the drunk Uncle enough to get him the help he needs...seriously take time to care about him. If he doesn't want your help, respect yourself enough to draw the boundary lines but don't resent him, it's his life. See how differently that works out? 
Respect and Love are the keys to a better self and better relationships...believe me when I tell ya! We'll talk more about it in the weeks to come...